Psalm 4:2 How long will you love vanity? How long will you seek lies?
It seems we are born into this chasing of grand illusions. As I consider my life so far, I have to admit it has been filled with vain pursuits and mere illusions. Lord, is it because reality has been to great to bare? that I have chosen fantasy and a theatrical existence? There have been times my imagination has helped me through my morbid and dry existence. is it because we try to meet the void and emptiness of our lives with our own inventions? For I have found, those who lose the ability to dream and imagine, are also those who lose the ability to live.
I find myself often trying to write my own script, to escape from the dreariness and dullness that is myself! Is non-fiction so dry and dull that I must needs write my own fiction? To live from that lie instead of the truth? I have discovered the secret why living a life of non-fiction has been so empty and unbearable. It is because I have often tried to write this book of reality without you, its central character!
Every book to be interesting needs a good central character they say. This is also true about life which is the real book, the book of life. All my life ive lacked the central character, which has been you! This has caused me to slip back into my vanities and deceptions, seeking refuge in these, instead of you Oh My God!
You are the truth that I can face, for you are the truth that sets me free, the only truth that truly stimulates and satisfies. I know there will still be times I revisit my grand illusions, but they pale in comparison to your greatness and magnificence, who would have thought that the truth would actually be far more fascinating than the dreams and grand illusions which I have chased? It is you my God oh Great God of truth!